...observe...react...

This Christmas vacation has been very, I guess, enlightening. I totally agree now that the way one is raised greatly affects one’s attitude, behavior, outlook and manners. Several things about myself are becoming clearer. I’m finally getting to know myself better. I hope that this continues. In order for me not to forget the things I learn in my self-rediscovery, I decided to write them down. I’m going to start with one of the most important thing I’ve learned, although I am still in the process of fully mastering it. Number one . ”The true test of stress is learning how to handle it, not just how to solve it.” If handling stress were a class, I would fail all the time. I think I never quite understood what stress management meant. Whenever I received new things to do, I would worry and overthink about them. I’ve almost had little to no peace of mind every single time. I would be calm and happy when I solve a problem, but as soon as a new problem comes in, I would cower in fear aga...

So, last Tuesday (Sep. 6, 2011), the ACTS 2012 Small Group Session watched a video entitled "Who is Jesus?" In it were proofs and evidence that Jesus did exist and that He really is God. But, there was really just one thing that struck my heart. “ No matter how many Bible verses you read, how much you help the poor or your neighbor, and how much you study the authenticity of the Bible and Jesus’ claims, at the end of the day, only our experiences will tell us who Jesus really is and prove that He is really God ” Looking back, ever since I was born, my family has had the same spiritual belief, but it was not my personal belief. I grew up treating it as tradition. I took my belief for granted. I went to Church because my family did. If there's one thing I know now, is that it was never a religion, it was a relationship, a personal relationship with God. When I was in grade school, life was too easy for me. School was easy. Family was ok. Friends were fine. I didn...

We often complain. We often think we don't have enough. We're often so consumed with the idea to acquire more. What foolish and ungrateful beings we are. In hindsight, no matter how we look at it, things could have been worse. At the end of the day, we can do nothing but to be grateful. Why are we so concerned with having more and better things? Is it human nature? Is this really what we are? Beings with insatiable hunger for more. I don't want to continue feeling this way. I want to feel contented with what I have. This greed poisons my very being. It's turning me into something I don't even want to think of. Why do some people always seem to have it all? Why? What do they have? Love. Can it truly fill that gap? But, you do know it's hard to feel the love when everything around you is a mess, when things couldn't possibly go worse as it is and when things seem hopeless. To feel love, one must take a leap of faith. To feel love, one must learn to see thi...

My friends say that I say too much about love. They say I sound as if I've been through many experiences about love. They all end up with the same question, "The things you say, is it based on theory or experience?" The answer is both neither and either. It means I speak from both experience and theory, and from something not of the two. It all started out as theory. All I knew about love was from books and multimedia. Then, when love became diverse for me, I learned from both theory and experience. I experienced the love of family and friends, but not of the more intimate kind of love. I continued studying love, and I was learning about it in the same way you learn chemical bonds from a chemistry textbook. I wasn't contented with this kind of learning, so I had to resort to empathy. I put myself in someone else's shoes. I tried to understand how they felt at different stages of love and relationships. Empathic learning and informational learning set the stage f...

Knowing doesn't make life any easier. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's bound to make it more difficult to handle. As they say "Pity the living, not the dead", we should also say "Pity the wise and learned, not the ignorant nor the innocent". What may be the greatest price of knowing is the burden of responsibility. This price leads people to make decisions in their life that more often than not drastically affect their lives as well as the lives of others. It's always between doing what is best or choosing to remain ignorant, but even acting ignorant isn't really that easy, at least for the first time. The burden of responsibility isn't the only great price of knowing. The price of sacrifice for obtaining wisdom and knowledge is sometimes too great. We sacrifice more than what we think. All for the sake of trying to avoid making mistakes. Knowledge and wisdom should not be sought. They are meant to come to you in time throug...

Sleep is underrated. Probably, one of the most underrated things in this world. A lot of people don't really value sleep. It often is too late when we realize the price of sleep. Just like anything, we only learn how to value it when we lose it. Sleep is really important to me now because it remains to be my sanctuary, a refuge from all those horrors the world makes us face. It also serves as a reminder that no matter how chaotic it can become, when we wake up, we can face a new day with renewed hope and determination to keep going on.

Have you ever imagined a world wherein you played God? Have you fantasized about things you know never happened or would never happen? Well, I have ever since I was a kid. Even when I was a kid, I always imagined worlds where everything was suddenly better. My imagination served as an escape route from reality. Well, I thought it was a harmless way of entertaining myself. I never thought how severe the consequences would be that I didn't listen to one of my older brothers when he told me to stop. Now, I understand. It has become my addiction, my drug. I became so dependent on my makeshift realities that I become stuck in them. Of course, I had to pay the repercussions, and I still am. The opportunity costs I took were more valuable than I had previously perceived. Only now do I realize the fault in my decision. I lost time. I lost the time to do things I needed to do (e.g. homework). More importantly, I lost time that I could have used to be with my friends and family. Thus, I beca...

Familiar memories brought about by photo hunting caused an overflowing sensation of nostalgia. Then, something struck me. For the majority of my stay in Pisay, trends show that the more I spend time with a person, the closer our friendship becomes, which is logical, but not necessary. However, I have observed two exceptions to the trend. I have known both of them since first year. One remains to be one of my closest friends even if we only get to communicate a few hours each day. The other, however, becomes more distant even if there is a generous allocation of time possible for communication. I tried to look for reasons why. For the first, I attributed it to the susceptibility of his mind brought about by being younger. For the second, I attributed it to his strong will and firm stand on his life principles. But I wasn't content with my explanation and so I continued to look for answers. Further understanding led me to believe that our very own principles and values are different,...

During one Chemistry class, my teacher discussed the principle of codependence where one's happiness is dependent upon the happiness and approval of one's peers or constituents. This is simply equivalent to the social needs indicated by Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Sir had a valid argument. Why be dependent on others when you can be happy with yourself? Then, it struck me. Can we really do away with codependence? Is it not inevitable that when some people become happy because of what I did, I'll become happy too? After some time, I concluded that we can't really do away with codependence, but the question is, are we codependent by ego or codependent by love? Codependence becomes detrimental when it is done for one's ego, but I believe that when it is done out of love, codependence becomes enriching. As human beings, it is almost impossible to live in this world alone. We constantly need companionship. We steer away from the path of loneliness becau...

Often times, first runs suck. Why? Because it is almost always during first runs that we are at our most senseless, rashest, reckless, heedless, thoughtless, daftest and unwise state. The combined powers of innocence and ignorance surely turns us into fools. Guess what? That's perfectly fine as long as you learn from those first runs. But then again, we're still probably very stupid during the second run. possibly stupid during the third run. slightly stupid during the 4th run and it goes on and on. Again, it's perfectly fine as long as you learn, and it's not even that difficult to learn. All we have to do is observe and analyze. Then, we can react accordingly and properly. I guess I envisioned this blog as a collection of my observations and my thoughts regarding them. I guess I also want to write about what I plan to do and how an observation may change my life. I hope this may turn out to be more productive than my usual plans. :D